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Facebook Jokes

Why does paper beat rock? if you hold a paper in front of your face and i throw a rock at it who wins?

 

If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.

 

My friend has just updated his status saying. Is balancing on the edge of a cliff.. So i poked him.

 

I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.

 

Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you..

 

thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”

 

Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

 

Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?

 

Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside ..So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

 

It’s raining, It’s pouring. Facebook is boring. I’m bored to death, I’m going to bed, hopefully we’ll meet in the morning!

 

Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It`s not the term for the past. EX is short for EXpired..

 

That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.

 

Why do you talk so fast?” “Why do you listen so slow?”

 

I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

 

Life is hard normally, but its harder if you are Stupid.

 

Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.

 

Never Say Neverrr, you just said it twice ?

 

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